THE 8 MONTH PLAN…

I have to take you back to 1996. Sweet 16. I took my 1st puff, and it’s been downhill from then. I was with my then boyfriend, being cosy in a bar, having a Pilsner – don’t you dare judge – and I took a drag off an Embassy Kings cigarette. It looked cool, it felt cool and when I kissed him, that smoky aroma tasted good. The end is still being scripted, but that there, was the beginning.

I am a lady. I know I am. However, I am often defined first by my smoking habit, and then by everything else. We all have our skeletons in the closet. We all have those bad habits we would love to wish away, but mine, is public. Why judge me for my smoking and yet, I judge you not by your rather disgusting nose picking, not by your silly habit of grabbing at your “Junk” every chance you get, but I judge you for who you really are as a person. I love my body and I don’t take it for granted. I know about the consequences of smoking and I am trying to quit. I am up against a brick wall, but I know, I can kick the habit. Will that make me more of a lady? Or will you simply refer to me as “Person x” on the 2nd floor who used to smoke, BUT is a lady! For my loved ones, I choose to quit. For my future well-being, I choose to kick the habit.

I have not been on the dating scene for a while now, however, many times I am told I am a potential partner but lacking in the traditional morals. Reason being? I smoke. A guy once told me, though he smokes and his mom believes it’s a bad habit, he would never take a woman who smokes home. Are we getting warmer? The plot thickens when the guys I hang out with say to me, ‘you are one of us’. But what does this mean? It just means you are one of the guys and no man wants to date another ‘guy’ woman. It is a painful acknowledgement and I have come to realize that no man wants to date a woman who smokes. It is a bad habit and does not bring finesse, sexy or lady-like features to the front. A man is attracted to you because of how you carry yourself. It is considered appalling for a woman who is going to be the mother of your child to be smoking so no man wants to get close to that.

This habit also says things about how you care for the things that concern your life. How are you supposed to care for others when you cannot care for yourself? A man will go to a woman who keeps herself and watches over herself and is guaranteed of a life together without worrying about any lung diseases, incurring medical costs and losing a loved one while they watch helplessly. A man who wants you can help you fight the habit. But if he won’t say anything then you know that he is not there to stay. So you better do something about it to make him stay.

I know you hold a senior role in a corporate; you are an incredible woman with a level of intelligence that is admirable. My role however is to be the mouth that will speak wisdom and the reality on the ground to you. How about we use our intelligence to teach the young girls who are getting into this habit the cost that they might have to pay in the future. It may look cool now when in the pub with your friends smoking away, however, when you grow older your will end up with your stick with no one to hold you.

FACT: the older women in their 40s who smoke are single!
Here is my 8 month plan:
• Quit smoking
• Start exercising
• Manage my WorkLifeBalance and find a new hobby
• Talk to young ladies who smoke about my experience.

“Big Tobacco” would have us believe that smoking is an “Adult choice”. They have us believe that smoking is a “Lifestyle choice”. They would have us believe that Smoking comes with some “sex appeal” and one looks like they have an edge over those that do not smoke. Truth is, by the time you realize it’s harmful for you, it’s too late. It is then, that you realize that, you no longer have control over your urges. You realize that it is not a lifestyle choice. I know no idiot that ever chose the life of slavery. It is an addiction. Smoking is a far from a choice and all it does, is to line the pockets of “Big Tobacco”. I look at myself, and I see nothing sexy in smoking. If anything, I have lost my sex appeal. Am I faced with a choice? YES... But it is not a fair choice. What took one puff to get me hooked, will take a strong will to get myself off its hook. Non smokers often ask me, how does smoking feel? My answer? Well, It’s not how you feel when you smoke... it’s how you feel when you don’t smoke!

I know quitting will not hook me up with “THAT GUY”... I know the act of quitting will not make me complete. However, I do know, it will make me a better person. Both on the inside and on the outside. It will make me more confident. It will make me stronger. Kicking the habit makes me that much further from kicking the bucket!